How have horses changed my life..? Well now, right now, I am writing a testimonial on how horses have changed my life… while breaking in the first new pair of cowboy boots I have owned since I was three years old. To be honest, I will probably wear them to bed tonight, I like ’em that much. My name is Matthew, I go by Matty B, some girls call me Mateo, but I prefer Handsome. I am 40 years old now but still giddy as a kid to own new boots, and I am in love with horses. I am an artist, I am an empath, and if there’s one thing in life I know how to do well, it’s how to hurt and how to suffer. Well that’s two things really, but they are as close as kissing cousins. I am covered in scars and tattoos. I have carry on bags under my eyes, monkeys on my back and a history to match. I have lived a life you read in books or one hollywood would love to turn into a movie. I have stories for days, best not to tell, and I have an small idea what it might be like to live a week in Hell.
When I first stepped foot on the ranch to meet Angie and her familia, by that I mean the horses. I was a broken man. I suffered from depression, self loathing, alcohol, drug abuse, and a general sense of dreaded hopelessness. I was broken. I had been in and out of rehab and recovery twice that year, let alone most of my adult life, and I was going through a difficult break up from a toxic relationship. I had no direction in life for all I could see was the fleeting remaining years of my failed feeble life. I remember clearly, how immediately the earth and the air and the beautiful beings we call horses broke me down on my first visit. They spoke to me so powerfully without making a sound. I have never before been met by such a reflective honesty till I met the powerful grace and gentle wisdom of the Equine. The horses broke me down to face myself and they acknowledged me while i stood in my truth. In the grandure of my humility, in the the openness of my weakness, in the safety of my vulnerability and in the fullness of my light, they set my feet back on solid ground.
Every week for the last year I have come to the ranch and every time I put my feet down on the earth and grass and I smell the air and I meet with the horses, I feel at peace with the world and I know I am home again. It is hard now to imagine not going a week without seeing my friends. I have lived a rough life, I have suffered for most of it. I am happy now, I am wiser, I am richer, I am full and I am found. I am becoming and I am whole. I have found myself again and I owe it all to a being that knows only the language of the heart. Every lesson I have been taught and every wisdom I have been given has been gifted to me from the horse. Angie Payne and has guided me through this journey and allowed me the place and safety to find my way back to my true being. I am sober now. I have new found hope, I have passion and direction. I have new cowboy boots and I am wearing them to bed tonight. I have fallen in love with horses. I have fallen in love with people again, I have fallen in love with life. I guess you can say this is how horses have changed my life. I have truely been, touched by a horse
